So lately I have been stressed, I just want to scream. I thought I knew what I wanted to do with my life, and now I have no idea. I know I am young and I will change my mind a million times in my life but its just AHHH! I just want my life to be organized. I have my goals but there so far away and I want them here.I work and work and it feels like I'm not getting closer to my end result. I feel like my life right now is the game Monopoly, its never ending. On top of that my home life isn't the best either. I have so much on plate. I am a single mom so its like I don't even have time to breath. I feel like I am always rushing and I am constantly worrying about things I do not even need to worry about. I hate worrying. Why do humans have the ability to worry, I mean it sucks. I used to be like this laid back "go with the flow" kind of person and now I feel like I don't even have time to laugh. Its hard for me to enjoy stuff and I think its really sad. I know its just a rough patch I am gong through right now but I want it to be over. I know its me, I have to relax and take steps to change. I guess its just something for me to work on.
~LaLa~

SINGLE MOM + DATING = SCARY

Okay so I'm twenty and single mom, and its so hard to date. I get hit on but I am self conscious about having a daughter because I do have beauty marks from being pregnant (haha). I have no idea what I am supposed to do, when I have a conversation with a guy should I tell them I have a kid straight off or do I tell them later? Most men at my age are not even ready for kids so it lessens the dating pool. Another thing i have to worry about is who you can trust, with all those weirdos out there. I think I over worry about that tho, from all the "Law and Order" episodes I watch. I have so much to think about and I have to have higher standers because the people I date could be future fathers. Also, when is it the right time to introduce the guy I am dating to my daughter. I have read some parenting books that say to introduce them right away so you can see the way the act around each other. Yet others say to wait until you know the guy. But I think who better a judge then your kid. I mean not only are my decisions affecting me, they are effecting my daughter. So I think rather then fall in love with the guy, and then have my daughter hate him or him hate her just right off the bat know if it will work or not. Honestly its so over whelming I just don't even want to think about it. Another worry I have is how do you deal with a break up when your daughter gets attached? My daughter is 7 weeks old so when I date someone, if I date someone its crucial and can be devastating at her age. She's picking up everything so when I do bring a guy around, if it gets serious she will eventually look at him as a father figure. How do you explain to a little girl why mommies boyfriend doesn't come around anymore.That can be potentially devastating. I don't know just something for me to think/worry about.
~LaLa~

MY INTRO

Hello my name is Laura. I am 20 years old. I have an amazing daughter and amazing dog. I am in the middle of divorce and recovering from a heart break. I'm a college student at Fullerton. I had to start this blog because of an English class I am taking, but that is just a great excuse to express my thoughts finally. So this entry is probably going to be random because my head is jumping all over the place right now, but whatever this is my blog. :) I have experienced a lot of hardships in my life but I have got through all of them. I am a very happy person. I am very strong willed and I will do what ever I have to, to succeed. I love the country. I think that I should of been a cow girl. If I could I would live on a farm somewhere, waking up early feeding chickens, cows and horses. :) I love the out doors. I enjoy hiking, snowboarding, swimming in lakes(beach=sharks), picnics i just enjoy being outside. I am passionate about singing and writing. I love to sing, in the car, in the shower, walking around anywhere. Except for my fear to sing in front of people. I shy about that. I am a very out going person. I am a pretty loud person, once I'm comfortable. I love a lot of things, I like to go out and dance and be crazy. A side from what I like, I hate tomatoes, unless its in salsa or ketchup, I hate peas and eggs unless there hard boiled. I hate rude people, I will put them in there place and wont think twice about it. I hate that I am addicted to french fries :) damn fast food companies, they make them so freak-in good. :) Any ways that is just a little about me.
~LaLa~