Bitter alone woman

So Im giving up on love. Giving up on dating, and trying to do anything with the opposite sex. I hate that men play love games, so flipping annoying. Multiple examples, Im a college student so I am in class and this same guy always sits next to me and flirts with me, but like totally obvious flirting, after he walks me to my car and says "see you next class". WTF why doesn't he ask for my number or on a date, anything. Seriously every day we have class same thing. So annoying. Another example so I went clubbing on Friday, I meet this really cute guy. We are taking pictures, dancing having fun. He asks for my number and he texts me after words, he says had lots of fun tonight " hope to talk to you soon". Guess what no text after that night. I don't understand why a guy asks for a number and never texts or calls you. I would of been okay with a goodbye never see him again thing after the night. But he took it to the next level and asked for my number. Why do girls obsess for no reason not like there's plenty of men out there. Im going crazy waiting for a flipping text. haha I know as soon as I stop thinking about it, he will text but ill be so mad by then that I wont want to text him back. If you a man and your reading this here's a secret. GIRLS LOVE IT WHEN YOU STRAIGHT OUT TELL THEM HOW YOU FEEL. Only a real bitch would shoot you down and you shouldn't want to be with someone like that anyways. Oh well life goes on.
-LaLa

"Maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they just need to run free till they find someone just as wild to run with them." - Sex in the City

Omg seriously how can there be so many crappy drivers?! So my car got totaled and it wasn't even my faults some old lady who was born in 1947 hit me. Honestly they should take away her drivers license. I am so thankful that my daughter wasn't in the car because I think I would of gone to jail for assault. I'm so upset at the fact that I no longer have a car. Like what the heck am I supposed to do now. There is a stupid law in California that when your car is totaled they just pay the rest of it off and your stuck with no car. I invested like 10,000 dollars in that car and I am never going to see that money again. Also yesterday I almost died twice, My mom, my daughter and I were driving home from Roscoe's chicken and waffles, and this guy in this huge truck almost ran into us. Seriously scary my heart was pounding. Then later that day we were driving home from my 1st birthday, and this car on the 405 spun out of control right in front of us, literally inches away from like crashing and dieing. I think that was one of the scariest moments of my life. I was so close I could see there faces. My heart was pounding, and I had so much adrenaline going through my body I felt like I was going to throw up. My daughter was in the car and I was freaking out. I seriously think I have like a fat sign on top of my head that says hit me. I am so traumatized I never ever want to be in a car again. I hate that there is never a cop around to catch the idiots driving like maniacs but there is like a million stupid cops giving out tickets for tinted windows and loitering. I get so mad, it makes me want to be like a driving person that tells you if you pass or don't pass. I forget what there called, but how do these people pass there test. Sometime I want to be a cop so I can give every one tickets. Why can't we just go back to everyone riding horses or something. I am so tired of seeing accidents and being in them.
~LaLa~

Car Accident

Erg so I am so freaken pissed off. I got in a car accident and now my car is totaled. It was so traumatizing I like never want to drive a again. It wasn't even my fault. So I was on my way to the dog park with my dogie and my brothers girlfriend Cara. Then boom it happened. I was driving through a green light and this old lady really old lady, she was like 90 years old she makes a unprotected turn with out even stopping and ran into my door and front end of my car. All of the air bags went off and my little dog went flying. It was the saddest thing in the world Bandit was crying. I have never been hit by air bag and it hurt really bad. Also it smells like smoke when they go off and you car gets all dark. After we got out of the car. The people that hit us didn't even say sorry or ask if we were okay. I don't understand how they didn't see us coming. Seriously old people shouldn't drive. Honestly this lady couldn't even stand up strait. I'm so mad, it took so much hard work to get that car. Brand new Toyota Corolla and it only had 4872 miles on it and now its totaled. I am so thankful that my daughter wasn't in the car. I honestly think I would have got out of the car and beat the crap out of them. WTF!! Why did the hit my car? I am so mad. As if that was not bad enough my neck hurts, my chest hurts and my back hurts. I can't even hold my daughter I'm in that much pain. Honestly this just topped off a horrible 6 months. Whats next I get struck by lighting. Be sides my daughter my life had sucked and it keeps sucking. This is just another notch in a belt. I'm just so tired of stuff happening. Its like when I think life is getting better and everything seems like its going to work out, it doesn't. It just tiring, when do I get my happily ever after, when is it my turn to be happy. My ex husband it a total dushe bag, our divorce isn't even finalized and he is engaged to another woman. He hasn't even met his daughter. I am so angry, not at him but I'm angry at life. I have worked hard my whole life and nothing ever seems to work out. I am 20 years old and I'm already tired of life. Not suicidal I'm just saying I'm tired of getting no where and always getting "f-ed" over. I just want to be happy. I just don't know anymore.
~LaLa~

Scotland and Tattoos

I want to go to Scotland so bad. My daughter is half Scottish so now I am even more interested in that country. The culture is so interesting. I mean kilts and bagpipes it just so fun. Not to mention there accents are so awesome. The movie "THE BRAVE HEART" it was a some what of a true story. My daughter is actually related to William Wallace, well her grandfather told me the the story of how the Dickey's came to USA. Its kind of just interesting to me I guess. I love stories, true fake, sad, happy, I love to hear them. I just very interested in the cultural because it was never really taught in high school. I want to see the greenery and I want to see castles. I have always been interested in Princesses and stuff. When I was younger I would pretend that I wasn't Mexican and my "other" family would come get me when I was a little older so I could rule "my" country. I had a great imagination when I was younger and it probably did not help when my brother would tell me I was adopted every time he got a chance. I want to travel and see so much. I have been to Mexico and I have seen the ruins there. I have also been to Peru and seen the ruins there. But I really want to visit a country were its very green. The middle ages are my favorite time of history so Europe is my best bet. This is kinda of random but, why are tattoos so addicting? I have one tattoo and I want to get more, but I feel that I like them now. But when I am 80 years old its going to look very horrible. I always wonder what the people that are covered with tattoos would like like when they got older. Just kind of wierd.
~LaLa~

Over Valentines day.

Valentines day is so over rated. Supposedly it is a day were you tell your partner how much you love them and just a day of love. But shouldn't you make your partner feel special everyday. I think that, that holiday was put to stress everyone. If your in a relationship you have to make reservations, buy roses(hate roses), get a gifts, get all dressed up and spend way to much money.You think of all the ways to make it a perfect night. But I think people really forget why there celebrating it. For the single people it makes them feel more alone just thinking everyone is paired off, and the only thing that helps is ice cream. Once you finish enjoying the ice cream, you think about the calories you ate. On top of that you start thinking your fat and you get depressed and then wonder if you'll have a date next Valentines day. Valentines day sucks, no one is ever really happy it just stressful. Personally I don't like that holiday, and I am not bitter because I am single I just don't really see the point. For me I like to be shown I am cared for in little ways when I least expect it. Maybe an extra "I love you", or a little know just saying you care, even flowers or just washing the dishes. Personally I feel Valentines day is forced and it's hard to enjoy something that you expect. For me I guess I like spontaneous things. Random let take a drive to no where or just let go for a walk lets sit on the couch and talk about nothing. I feel like every day should be "Valentines day". Like the whole lovey dovey thing should be an everyday thing. Also what the heck is up with the cupid guy. I mean a guy in a diaper shooting an arrow, like are you for real. Who thought of that and why didn't they think of a better mascot?
~LaLa~

So lately I have been stressed, I just want to scream. I thought I knew what I wanted to do with my life, and now I have no idea. I know I am young and I will change my mind a million times in my life but its just AHHH! I just want my life to be organized. I have my goals but there so far away and I want them here.I work and work and it feels like I'm not getting closer to my end result. I feel like my life right now is the game Monopoly, its never ending. On top of that my home life isn't the best either. I have so much on plate. I am a single mom so its like I don't even have time to breath. I feel like I am always rushing and I am constantly worrying about things I do not even need to worry about. I hate worrying. Why do humans have the ability to worry, I mean it sucks. I used to be like this laid back "go with the flow" kind of person and now I feel like I don't even have time to laugh. Its hard for me to enjoy stuff and I think its really sad. I know its just a rough patch I am gong through right now but I want it to be over. I know its me, I have to relax and take steps to change. I guess its just something for me to work on.
~LaLa~

SINGLE MOM + DATING = SCARY

Okay so I'm twenty and single mom, and its so hard to date. I get hit on but I am self conscious about having a daughter because I do have beauty marks from being pregnant (haha). I have no idea what I am supposed to do, when I have a conversation with a guy should I tell them I have a kid straight off or do I tell them later? Most men at my age are not even ready for kids so it lessens the dating pool. Another thing i have to worry about is who you can trust, with all those weirdos out there. I think I over worry about that tho, from all the "Law and Order" episodes I watch. I have so much to think about and I have to have higher standers because the people I date could be future fathers. Also, when is it the right time to introduce the guy I am dating to my daughter. I have read some parenting books that say to introduce them right away so you can see the way the act around each other. Yet others say to wait until you know the guy. But I think who better a judge then your kid. I mean not only are my decisions affecting me, they are effecting my daughter. So I think rather then fall in love with the guy, and then have my daughter hate him or him hate her just right off the bat know if it will work or not. Honestly its so over whelming I just don't even want to think about it. Another worry I have is how do you deal with a break up when your daughter gets attached? My daughter is 7 weeks old so when I date someone, if I date someone its crucial and can be devastating at her age. She's picking up everything so when I do bring a guy around, if it gets serious she will eventually look at him as a father figure. How do you explain to a little girl why mommies boyfriend doesn't come around anymore.That can be potentially devastating. I don't know just something for me to think/worry about.
~LaLa~

MY INTRO

Hello my name is Laura. I am 20 years old. I have an amazing daughter and amazing dog. I am in the middle of divorce and recovering from a heart break. I'm a college student at Fullerton. I had to start this blog because of an English class I am taking, but that is just a great excuse to express my thoughts finally. So this entry is probably going to be random because my head is jumping all over the place right now, but whatever this is my blog. :) I have experienced a lot of hardships in my life but I have got through all of them. I am a very happy person. I am very strong willed and I will do what ever I have to, to succeed. I love the country. I think that I should of been a cow girl. If I could I would live on a farm somewhere, waking up early feeding chickens, cows and horses. :) I love the out doors. I enjoy hiking, snowboarding, swimming in lakes(beach=sharks), picnics i just enjoy being outside. I am passionate about singing and writing. I love to sing, in the car, in the shower, walking around anywhere. Except for my fear to sing in front of people. I shy about that. I am a very out going person. I am a pretty loud person, once I'm comfortable. I love a lot of things, I like to go out and dance and be crazy. A side from what I like, I hate tomatoes, unless its in salsa or ketchup, I hate peas and eggs unless there hard boiled. I hate rude people, I will put them in there place and wont think twice about it. I hate that I am addicted to french fries :) damn fast food companies, they make them so freak-in good. :) Any ways that is just a little about me.
~LaLa~